I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
