I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
