the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille