just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??