Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
