i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
