After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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