so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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