I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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