It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
