I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
