Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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