can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
