Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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