every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
