yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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