just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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