I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
