Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize