we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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