i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
