Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize