Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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