Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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