I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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