brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
being pregnant is like rehab
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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