No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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