she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
