you would pick up someone in the library
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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