It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
