am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
