At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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