The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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