I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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