Betty ford says i'm here all night
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
