I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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