I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
