She said her name was "party"
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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