I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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