Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
