Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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