Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
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You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
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Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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