I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
