she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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