Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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