idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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