Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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