Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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