i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
