you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
