Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
