Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
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He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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