your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I take back everything I said about communal showers
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
