She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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