she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
