Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Randomize
