awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Randomize
