Welp...herpes.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
