He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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