Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
