We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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