Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize