Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
